It could seriously be worse. Ok, so my health has taken a dump, just when i expected the fucking thing to get better, and now I am dealing with heart problems yet again. to quote *someone* "your heart is broken. literally".
It fucking is.
The heart pains ( due to cold/stress/low bp) have returned after 2 years of absence. I've forgotten how they felt, but I guess my brain - or what is left of it- still remembers how to block it. The Nitro spray is with me at all times again... why in the holy name of hell did I go through all that shit in 2005 to fix it?
Oh well....... no point pining over spilled milk.
back on chemo too... and I am trying to maintain myself in the "alive" zone as I have to adjust to them yet again. However, that seems to be having a pretty good effect on my shrinking figure... and there is where to shrink from :)
And preparing for yet another trip to Israel... which will probably be more fruitful than the previous ones ... not to mention that I am looking forward to positive temperatures and SUN!!
Businesswise... I am packing. After resolving all the current stuff, I will hang my badges, cut on travelling and look for a quiet place of the world to hang my leather jacket and store my boots... and i might not even be alone in this pursuit :) But things will flow, and shall be taken from there.
I'm feeling peaceful and restless, if that makes any sense :)
It's a new year. Things are happening, things are changing...
but this time I have more to look forward to than just anotehr surgery and manic time of work and meeting with friends and more work and mixed signals and jealousy and push me-pull you games.
Maybe I will find peace. Maybe I already did.
It's weird how a weekend can be so good (extatically so) and bad( friend having a meltdown) at the same time.